Charm School

Me: Do you like my haircut?

e: It looks nice...like usual.

Me: You think I usually look nice.  Thank you!  You usually look nice too, though it takes you a lot less effort.

e: Yep.  I just wake up, turn on the charm, and that's that.

Bacon Love

Upon hitting the jackpot of clearance books at the store:

Yeah, they are all science fiction and dragons!  It's like eggs and hot sauce, bacon and love, mom and dad...what else could be a better combination?

Silent Treatment

E: I wish Home Depot didn't exist.  I'm sick of coming here, and I don't want to anymore.

Me:  I wish whining and complaining didn't exist, so we're even.

..................... 10 minutes later......................

E: Do you wish I didn't exist like you said in the parking lot?

Me: I did not say I wish you didn't exist.  I was talking about your behavior.

E:  Well after what you said, in case you didn't notice, I was giving you the silent treatment.