Charm School

Me: Do you like my haircut?

e: It looks nice...like usual.

Me: You think I usually look nice.  Thank you!  You usually look nice too, though it takes you a lot less effort.

e: Yep.  I just wake up, turn on the charm, and that's that.

Bacon Love

Upon hitting the jackpot of clearance books at the store:

Yeah, they are all science fiction and dragons!  It's like eggs and hot sauce, bacon and love, mom and dad...what else could be a better combination?

Silent Treatment

E: I wish Home Depot didn't exist.  I'm sick of coming here, and I don't want to anymore.

Me:  I wish whining and complaining didn't exist, so we're even.

..................... 10 minutes later......................

E: Do you wish I didn't exist like you said in the parking lot?

Me: I did not say I wish you didn't exist.  I was talking about your behavior.

E:  Well after what you said, in case you didn't notice, I was giving you the silent treatment.

It's a cruel, cruel world

After being told to get dressed repeatedly, E lost access to the Wii for the day, to which she responded: Mom, why do you have so much cruelty in your heart?

Separation Anxiety

I had a talk with my imaginary friends.  I let them know that we will be having less quality time together, because you know, I'll have homework and be busy with stuff next year.  I told them we'd still have some time together, though...just not as much.

Holy Brainwash, Batman!

Only God knows...He can control everybody's minds...but mine has escaped His golden grasp to fly free.

Meerkat Manor

Driving out of Boston, E asked me why people do graffiti. I explained it to her, and she rephrased my explanation:

 "So, it's like people marking their territory with spray paint... You know meerkats just do that with pee."

high calliber dragon

Today Emma went to the Museum of Science where she has to view the anatomy exhibit to continue to conquer her phobia of anatomy:

Me: I'm sure you'll do great looking at the anatomy exhibit today.

E: Yep.  I have my invisible dragons with me, so I'm locked and loaded.

She's no Samantha

Chiding me about my voice tone when referring to a boy she is fond of in school:

"Stop using that Sex in the City, mushy voice when you say my friend's name."

She'll sail off into the sunrise

Watching Say Yes to the Dress:

E: Why does the bride wear white?

Me: Tradition.

E: Yeah. Well I'm not going to be traditional.

Me: I figured. What do you want to wear?

E: My dress will be the colors of the sunrise.

Air Bunnies

Me: Why did you use air bunnies (making the quotation sign when speaking) with what you just said?

E: Oh, you know.  Just to give what I said a little flair.

HOT ROD!!!

Me: See the hot pink VW bug over there?  That's what we're getting you to drive.

Dad: Yeah - and we're going to put the word "princess" on the back in big letters.

E: Noooooo way!  I want flames with "Dragon Lover: Beware!" on the back.

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

"So, dad, I keep seeing that this guy got killed because it needed to be done. But we should respect life, right? It's kind of like in Avatar when Neytiri kills the animal that comes after Jake. It's the right thing to do but you should still feel kinda bad doing it." We should let her do the talking more often.

Who knew there was life before GPS...

E: Hey Dad - in my book, there's a medieval picture where the world is drawn flat.

Bruce: Huh. Yeah?

E: Yeah.  I guess they didn't have global positioning systems back then.

Myth Busters

Me: Please dry your hair some more.  I don't want you to catch a cold.

e: Wait.  How can you catch a cold just because your hair is wet?

Me: You can't.  That's just an old wive's tale, and I shouldn't have said it.

e: Yeah.  That's a myth.  Busted.  Maybe you should talk to your pharmacist about ways a person can get sick.

Always the Optimist

e told the lobsters at Stop and Shop to "never give up hope."

ocean view - must own fishing pole

Driving along the coast to take Emma to school this morning:

Me: Wow - look at that view!  Wouldn't it be nice to live in one of those houses.

E: Yeah, but, we'd have to be poor.

Me: Poor??

E: Well, yeah, only fishermen live right by the ocean.  We'd have to catch fish and take them to market just to have money.

Hey Guys, I have a joke

Why is Rome called Rome?

Us: We don't know.  Why is Rome called Rome?

Because they roamed many parts of the World!

It's a gift

Me: How'd you get so cute?

Emma: It's a gift.

Me: Who gave you that gift?

Emma: The angels.  Everybody is given a gift and their destiny when they are born.

Me: What's your destiny?

Emma: To change the world.

She does know they are imaginary...but they have to sleep somewhere.

At night, e's imaginary friends go in through her eyes and climb up her veins to the door of her nervous system. If they have wings, thy don't have to climb. They can just fly right up to the door.

What's up, Doc?

I try to get E to eat raw vegetables, but she's having none of it.  Every Wednesday is pizza day, served with baby carrots.
Me: Did you at least take a nibble of the baby carrots?
E: I did take a nibble, but I prefer for the carrots that are still children to grow into adults.  Then they should be cut up and cooked.

...because they are tasty on bbq...

You know, mom, I'm quite fond of pickles.

Apparently she's been watching a lot of Food Network

Just before adding copious amounts of soy sauce to her egg drop soup: "You know salt is the vehicle for flavor."

A couple of old ones that disappeared with my old online blog...

See that light sparkling on the water?  That's the sun singing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: I believe the ones we love look down on us and know where we are and what we are doing here on Earth.

Em:  What?  You mean like angel GPS?

Blah, blah, blah...

Asking her too many questions about her friends at school: "Look, do I have to write all this stuff down or just keep going on and on until my jaw hurts?"

Will she remember this kind of thing when she's older?

Me: Why aren't you playing your video game this weekend?

Em: Well, I know you guys are worried about me being on it too much.  You know, worried about me being addicted to it.  And, I respect that.  So I've decided to take a little break.

These kids and their modern slang...

Emma described her comic book, Mouse Guard, as "sick - you know, like in a good way."

If you're gonna bake a cake...

When helping me make a cheesecake, e accidentally dropped an egg on the floor and said, "It's a pain to deal with something from such a cowardly bird."